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Stephen Colbert on Amazon's crazy photo patent: A fecal mistake

Stephen Colbert on Amazon’s crazy photo patent: A fecal mistake


Wait, the logo is on a white background.

The Colbert Report/Hulu Screenshot by Chris Matyszczyk

Apple’s lawyers must have made fire from rubbing their hands together after hearing around Amazon’s latest patent.

The patent seemed, you see, to have grabbed the idea of taking a photograph of a issues on a white background and made it entirely Amazon’s.

Many were upset, incredulous even. Some subsequent interpretations suggested it was only a patent for the particular lighting setup shown in the patent application. But still, photographers have been using Difference setups for decades — what was the US Patent Workplace thinking?

Stephen Colbert is patently beside himself at yet new seemingly insane patent filed by a large corporation in an effort to enrich itself from the obvious.

He devoted a whole segment on his show to expressing his indignation.

America is, when all, the nation that first put cheese inside a pizza crust. Patents are “a fast track to Moneytown.”

Amazon’s apparent effort to patent the white background drove Colbert into the white heat of frenzy. He worried, even, that displaying the Amazon logo on a white background Great be contravening the patent.

He marveled at Amazon’s long-winded, legalistic attempt to describe photography against a white background in labyrinthine detail. It used phrases like “longitudinal axis” and words like “cyclorama.”

Taking this linguistic turn as his cue, Colbert labelled Amazon’s patent as “male bovine fecal matter extruded on a longitudinal axis.”

You and I have a shorter term for this. This term has an even shorter variation.

Colbert, though, is a man of solutions. So he has granted to file a patent on the idea of filing patents.

Surely someone must have beaten him to it, haven’t they?